What is success?

Week 29

20 July 2015

Well an experience I want to share today is on the topic I have come to understand, which is Demanding too much of yourself. This week we were teaching this group of 3 sisters. Makalesi 19yrs, Pou 16yrs and Leba 14yrs. We have being trying to sit down with them for ageeess now but they are always busy doing stuff for their parents because their parents run a Kava Business. And of course Kava is Tapu to missionaries. And their parents aren't always home so we can't exactly go inside their house and teach them. We find that something is always stopping us from teaching them, They call my companion weird because he doesn't talk, whereas me they like because i make fun of them and all. (Polynesians just have that instant connection where you can just immediately form a relationship/ friendship with them.)

We finally got to sit down with them because their grandparents were home. We sat down and were hoping to be able to have a good introduction lesson and explain our purpose as missionaries. But they started doing their own Lotu devotional (FHE sort've thing) Everyone began praying loudly at the same time trying to out do each other with their words and voices and we knew the spirit wasn't there. After about 10minutes of their praying it was over and we just had a chat because we didn't want to be rude and just leave. I felt so frustrated because we, well I had being really hoping to make these girls investigators but just wasn't happening. I went home that night really frustrated and annoyed.

I woke up the next day and spoke with my companion and we talked a lot about it and the work also. And I realised I was expecting too much of myself. I was expecting perfection of myself and forcing it too much on the work. Was expecting to much of myself to speak the language, to teach the lessons. Without even realizing that the main motives behind me doing that was so I could get a baptism, so that I could be like other missionaries who in their area's were getting baptisims and causing great miracles to occur and my area of Rakiraki. Though with a reputation of one of the hardest area's in the mission I felt like it wasn't going anywhere and I wasn't working hard enough. Perfection or a missionaries sucess is not judged by how many baptisms you get, it is not judged by miracles or great visions and amazing spiritual lessons.

Though they are all good things and are things we strive for as missionaries. I am only me! Elder Lemusu, I am not any other Elder. And to me the way that I define my success as a servant of the lord is by this revelation I was given this week gone " A soul is worth more than a number on a Baptismal percentage board. If a person can see the vision and understand the blessings of the truth from this work in their own lives. Then I have achieved my purpose as a missionary of the Lord." 

Perfection takes time and will not be achieved in this life but only in the next life. Through the Atonement in this life we can prepare to become and be made perfect through the blood of the only Begotten son. The Atonement has the ability to change and change the hearts so that people may change themselves. God dosen't just change people because they ask, he works from the inside out. He changes hearts so that they may change their actions. Whereas the world changes the outside while the inside still remains the same. Though beautiful on the outside, the inside still lingers.