Really Tough Week

Week 26

29th June 2015

This week was hard... very hard. We had less than 3 lessons this week total and I was very frustrated and sometimes found myself getting upset. I love these people so much but my companions idea of missionary work is totally different from mine, he lets his emotions and feelings get the better of him and they influence how he does missionary work. 

Its hard having to have a companion like this. Really it is. I have sought the Lords help many times and I know he is helping me and speaking to me but my companion however just does his own thing. Its sad, really sad having to help him when there are those out in the field (people I love so dearly I cry for them). Recently I assessed how Jesus Christ did it? How he showed compassion and love to others. He is so powerful and knowledgeable and yet many time he lowered himself so that others would prosper and learn, change and grow. He chose to humble himself and step back.

I reviewed the counsel my father gave me one time "Everything starts in the home, not outside".  I thought about that I came to a understanding that whilst there are those I love and need help. There are those souls that need saving, there is a soul right in my own house that needs help and that is my companion. I though about the parable of the 99 sheep and the one that strayed and how much I cried when Jesus Christ left those 99 sheep and went after the one that needed help. I know that I need to leave those people I love, those members, recent converts, less actives and investigators especially and focus on helping the one here at home. Its so hard, truly you cannot imagine how hard it is to leave these beautiful people I love so much and want to help so much. To leave them and help my companion, my brother and this soul and son of God.

There have being times where I have said to myself Why? that seems to be the biggest and most common question we can ask God. Why? and I asked him that question. Why do I need to help him? He is a missionary who is almost finished his mission and I couldn't understand, because its not my problem he needs to sort this out but as I read a Scripture in 2 Nephi 33 I realised if I do not help him as his companion -  meaning I am responsible for him. If I don't help him than I will be held accountable and my garments shall be found with spot at the last day. I know what I must do and boy is it hard, but as I listened to a talk from Jeffery R. Holland I learned that Salvation is not easy nor was it meant to be a cheap and quick experience. Trial is for us to understand that we are weak as mortal beings in this small and short life. (Ether 12:27) And because we are weak we have a constant need for his help meaning we need to be submissive and humble and come unto him as children and accept his will and desire for us. (Mosiah 3:19) It may not be our desire but it is his and in the end we do benefit and he awaits to bless us.